Love's Memory
by adestiny
Summary: People say that 'it's better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. For Ansem, as he walks the path of Kingdom Hearts, reflecting on his life, he realizes that these words couldn't be farther from the truth. Prequel to Memory of Heart.


Disclaimer: Think about it. If I owned Kingdom Hearts, I wouldn't be writing this fanfiction. Also, Sora and Riku would be together, Kairi would be the villain, and Ansem would be a good guy. Now let's move on.

Summary: People say that 'it's better to have loved and lost than not loved at all'. For Ansem, as he walks the path of Kingdom Hearts and reflects on his life, he realizes that these word couldn't be farther from the truth…

****

Chapter One: Drifting in a Memory

The doors to Kingdom Hearts opened slowly, black vapors pouring from them.

"No," Sora said, "I know now, without a doubt, that Kingdom Hearts is LIGHT!"

As if in answer to his cry, the doors burst open in an explosion of light. That light enveloped Ansem, the man long lost in darkness, and stripped him of his powers, leaving him once again a weak, disembodied spirit that could not even take of visible form. The boy, Riku, that he had possessed was free, but he chose to stay in the darkness and help Sora seal the door.

Unseen by anyone and all, Ansem also slipped through the doors as they closed. It wasn't so much willingly as dutifully and out of atonement.

Ansem did not follow Riku and the King as they traveled the path that would lead them to the door of light. He simply drifted, floating in the darkness, waiting for some of his strength to return.

Darkness. It had been with him all his life, from birth to death to whatever kind of afterlife he existed in now. But back then, back when he was with her, there was no light or dark- everything had been a beautiful shade of silver, like her hair…

Ansem would have smacked himself if he'd had a body and the strength to do it. What was he doing, thinking about her, especially at a time such as that?

Still, he couldn't help but wonder what she would think if she could have seen what he'd done, and if she could see him now…

The story began many, many years ago, when Ansem was but a young prince of fifteen years. He'd been much like Riku then, wondering about the world in which he lived, longing to know more.

As custom in his family, Ansem's future bride was chosen for him, and, naturally, they couldn't have chosen a worse woman for him to someday marry. She was, by all means, a snob. She was a princess, of course, and very conceited. She cared only about herself and was incredibly vain. She was pretty enough, but her high and mighty ways were more than enough to drive the most desperate man away. Her name was Eyokai.

Ansem refused to marry Eyokai, but his parents were intent on him marrying the beautiful princess. Like anyone caught up in such a situation, Ansem did the only seemingly logical thing at the time. He ran away.

The nearby town was full of life and bustling people. No one noticed the cloaked boy slinking in and out of alleyways, searching out good places to hide from the soldiers that the King would undoubtedly send out looking for him when he realized that Ansem was gone.

He found a good alley to stay and hide in, then settled down quickly. Dark clouds covered the sky and people began to rush back home. A storm was coming, complete with lightning, thunder, and rain drops that were as thick and large as strawberries.

Ansem shivered in the cold. He had experienced such storms before, but always within the safety of the castle, or a carriage if they were traveling. But here, out in the dark passageway, he was completely exposed to the weather. His heavy breath froze in front of his face.

Suddenly, the rain didn't seem to fall so hard and the temperature wasn't as icy. That was when he first met her.

A woman with medium-length, silver hair and eyes like the morning sun stood in front of his curled-up, cloaked figure. She wore a long, white dress and her skin was as fair as porcelain. She crouched down and spoke with a voice as soft as the gentle, Summer breeze.

"You should get out of the rain," she said, placing her hand softly on his shoulder, "Come with me- you can wait at my house until the storm lets up and you can get home."

Ansem saw no reason to tell her that he had run away from the castle. He stood shakily, and she helped him to his feet. She lived in a small cottage not too far away. Within was a bed, a fireplace with a pot hanging over it, a cabinet, and a vase filled with freshly picked wild flowers. She motioned for Ansem to remove his cloak and sit down on the bed. Reluctantly, Ansem did so, not wanting to wear out the young woman's hospitality.

She was young- only a year younger than he was. She pulled a bowl and a spoon out of the cabinet and filled the bowl with the contents of the pot that hung above the warm fire. She offered the warm, soup-like potion to him and he took it with a nod of appreciation. He ate a spoonful of it.

"This is good," Ansem said, "What is it?"

"It's my special brew," she said, "It's a broth made from the roots of plants and a few rose petals. Stirring and boiling them in water makes the broth, and using hickory chips in the fire adds the flavor. I use it as a remedy for colds, the flu, and fevers."

"I see," Ansem said, "So do you have a name, or do you just go by The-Maiden-Who-Makes-Healing-Broths?"

"I'm Enyorai," the woman said, "And you are?"

Habit and honesty overcame sense and he replied, "Ansem."

Enyorai nearly dropped the bowl of soup that she was making for herself. "_Ansem_?" she repeated, looked at his face. She gasped, "I should have known- only a prince could be so handsome. I'm only sorry that I cannot offer more…"

"It's fine," Ansem said, "You've done much for me already by sheltering me from the storm and giving me this potion. But, if you really feel it necessary to do more, then you could simply answer a question."

"Anything," Enyorai said.

"Where are you parents?"

This time, the beautiful maiden really did drop the soup and shatter the bowl. "My parents are dead. They were taken by a disease when I was four years old, and I have no other family. Now I'm fourteen, and I make a living selling my remedies. Most call me 'Flower Maiden' because of the ingredients in my potions. So what are you doing out here?"

"I ran away," Ansem said. For some reason, he felt like telling Enyorai everything, "My parents married me to a princess named Eyokai. She's lovely, of course, but her personality is far from. She's the most conceited, arrogant, stuck-up… I'd continue, but I was raised with the manners not to swear in the presence of a lady. To put it plainly, I ran away to escape from her."

"And that's when I found you, I take it?" Enyorai said as she cleaned up the mess from dropping the bowl. She went to pour herself another one, but there wasn't enough soup left. "This Eyokai woman must truly be terrible."

"She is," Ansem said, "I'd much rather prefer to marry someone like you; smart, kind, considerate, beautiful-" he clamped his hand over his mouth before anything else could accidentally slip out. Enyorai's pale face was bright pink. She poured the remaining soup into a bowl, but there was only a few sips left.

Ansem would have suggested that they share what remained of his soup, but the only broth that he had left was in his mouth. An idea struck him, and, without thinking at all, he kissed Enyorai. It was very brief, just to transfer soup from one mouth to another, but special all the same.

No word were exchanged between them for the rest of the night, but both of them understood clearly.

Ansem snapped back into the reality of the present as he drifted in Kingdom Hearts. Much of his strength and his visible form had returned, seemingly, simply by remembering Enyorai and the night that started it all. Ansem's semi-depression over his defeat at Sora's hands was over and he was filled with unbreakable, unexplainable determination. He walked down the path, keeping Riku and the King always visible at the dark horizon.

He was starting over. This time, this life, he would die in peace.


End file.
